-Get a better grasp of the english language, and the mechanics thereof. Nobody likes crappy syntax.
-Be humorous. Humor goes a long way here, and as with the syntax thingy, lame-ass attempts at humor get old real quick.
-We really don't need to hear about your lotto, but if you are interested, we have access to the King of Alaska's personal bank account. We just need $5000 to clear a few transactions that are in arrears, but if you send us the money we can promise you close to $500,000 in left-handed hammers. Hurry, act now.

Clowns.
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